I Am Not Their Teacher... They Are Mine...

One of my students recently found out that he has a brain tumor.  When I found out, I cried for hours.  Literally.  This kid is soooo smart.  And charming.  And just adorable.  Cutest child ever.  I was devastated to think about what his future might hold—or if he would even have a future (side note—after an MRI, doctors have determined that the tumor is not doing any damage, and as long as it doesn’t grow, they will not have to do surgery—or as he would say, “Ms. Keddington, they’re not going to surger me.”).  I felt physically ill whenever I thought about it, not to mention feeling near tears most of the time.  It was terrible.  There were so many other things that were worrisome:  parents didn’t have insurance, he lives below the poverty line, etc.  But overall, I just wanted this child to be happy and healthy.

Because of the tumor, A. couldn’t go to recess or to PE for almost 2 months.  At first, on days when we had PE, he would go to either computers or music with another 2^nd grade class.  Twice a week, he would go hang out with the secretaries in the office during recess.  The rest of the time, he would come to my classroom and hang out with me.  As time went on, and the uncertainty in his life increased, he started to stay with me all the time.  When I would tell him it was time to go to the office or to computers or music, his huge brown eyes would fill with tears and he would ask if he could stay with me.  How can you say no to that?  Needless to say, A. and I became BFFs. 

One day, when A. was with me during my prep, we were running around doing a million different things—making copies, getting books, etc.  While we were walking back to my classroom, he said, “Wow, Ms. Keddington!  Being a teacher makes me tired!”  I had to laugh at that one!  About an hour later, as we were walking with the class out of the school at the end of the day, A. said to me, “Ms. Keddington, thanks for being my teacher.”  My eyes welled up with tears and I thought, “Oh, A.  Don’t you see—I am not your teacher, you are mine.” 

Just a few thoughts about what A. taught me during that experience:

• ·         It is possible to think of others when going through a crisis.  I didn’t want A. to think it was a punishment that he couldn’t go to recess.  So, I asked him if he would like to invite a friend to stay with him on the days that he was with me during recess.  He said he would.  And then, a minute later he said, “Ms. Keddington, maybe we should just go in ABC Order, because I don’t want anyone to feel left out if I don’t choose them.”  Oh!  That just melted my heart!  But then I asked, “Should we maybe leave the girls out, though?”  To which he responded, “Yes!”  I guess his 7-year old compassion does have some boundaries…
• ·         Sometimes, we just have to do things because they are what are good for us.  One day as A. and I were going to get the other kids from recess, I said to him, “A., I am really proud of you.  I know how much you love to run and play at recess and during P.E., but you have never once complained about having to stay inside.  I think that is pretty awesome.”  He replied, “But Ms. Keddington, this is for my best good.”  (Please keep in mind that English is not his first language, so sometimes he doesn’t speak correctly.  Ha ha.)  Sometimes I wish I understood that better.  I feel like I always complain about things when I don’t particularly want to do them!
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•            Doing kind things for people is always a good idea.  There were several times over the past few months when A. would persuade me to do something nice for the kids in our class.  For example, one day we were working on something during my prep and he said, “Ms. Keddington, I think the kids have been really good today.  We should surprise them with a treat on their desks for when they get back from P.E.  They love surprises!”  We put a cookie on each kid’s desk (after cleaning them with Clorox Wipes first, of course) and guess what?  He was so right!  The other kids were so excited, and he was even more excited than they were.

I am so grateful for the things I have learned this year from A.  I was his teacher last year, as well, and I feel so blessed to be in his life.  With that being said, I have some other really awesome students as well.  Here are just a few nuggets of wisdom I have gathered from them:

·         It really is easy to make someone’s day.  On days that my kids are driving me CRAZY (about once every 2 weeks), I like to eat lunch with them in the cafeteria, as long as I have checked with the lunch ladies to make sure the food is edible.  I do this because when my kids are nuts, it is really good for me to see them in a setting outside of the classroom.  It kind of reminds me that I actually like them.  The first time I did this, one of my little girls, M., said, “This is the best day of my WHOLE life!”  I thought, “Gee!  If I had known that, I would have done this a long time ago!”

·         Laughter really is the best medicine.  Sometimes being with a whole bunch of 6 and 7 year olds all day is hard.  But it seems like every time I feel frustrated with a student or something, someone will say or do something completely ridiculous, and we will all laugh together.  Like the time T. said to me, “Ms. Keddington, my mom has an octopus.”  And I said, “No, she doesn’t.”  And he simply said, “Oh. Okay.”  Hilarious.  The other day when my kids were walking back from art, they were nuts.  It’s like they forgot how to walk in a line.  I was feeling frustrated, but then my whole class (except for the Arabic speaking student, and the 2 Vietnamese speaking students) broke in to song.  Of course it was a Spanish song, so I had no idea what they were saying.  Neither did they, actually, which kind of worries me.  They couldn’t tell me what the words were in English, which leads me to believe it was Spanish slang or something.  Probably not good.  But it sure was funny.  I probably should have disciplined them, but I couldn’t stop laughing.  I seriously genuinely enjoy being with these kiddos.  They make me so happy.

·         My students are constantly giving me advice on how to find a husband and get married.  My two favorite pieces of advice are:  1.  Just go to the mall.  I can find a husband there.  2.  Just say hi to men.  WHY HAVE I NEVER SAID HI TO A MAN BEFORE?!?!

·         George Washington is the best president ever.  On Election Day, we were talking about the different presidential candidates.  Some of my students were saying how they would have voted for Barack Obama, and some were saying they would have voted for Mitt Romney.  And then, one student, R., said, “I would have voted for George Washington.”  I replied, “But George Washington is dead.”  ***Insert huge, mortified gasp!***  “He is?”  This child was devastated at the thought that this man was dead.  Apparently when we researched and wrote reports about the American Revolution and the Founding Fathers, I forgot to mention that George Washington was dead…   Oops.  My bad.

·         I am white.  A couple of weeks ago, I was getting hives every single day.  I have no idea why.  But one day, I was scratching my leg (who knew hives were so itchy?), and the very bottom of my pant leg came up.  One of my students, E., said, “Whoa, Ms. Keddington!  Your legs are so white!”  I said, “You’re right, E.  I wish I had beautiful dark skin like you guys do!”  A few hours later my kids were using their spelling words as they wrote sentences.  One of the words was “white.”  R. wrote, “Ms. Keddington is white.”  Ha ha.

I feel so lucky to work with these kids every day.  I work long hours and on Friday nights I am so tired that all I want to do is go to bed at 8:00 (and sometimes I do just that).  I feel burnt out almost all the time, and under appreciated much of the time.  But when I see 22 sets of beautiful brown eyes looking up at me, I remember why I do this job.  I do this job because the world has knocked these kids down, and they need someone to lift them higher.  I do this job because these children need someone to believe in them.  They need stability.  They need someone who will work relentlessly to help them reach their potential.  But most of all, they need love.  And although I inevitably fail them in some way or another every.single.day., at least that one thing, I can provide.  And so I do.